The True Amercan Horror

I apologize in advance for my disorganized thoughts. I don't know how to approach this topic without pain. There is no greater horror to me in this world than the maltreatment and injustices endured by the marginalized and the powerless in our society. No amount of my privileged education can make this feeling go away. I can list off the many reasons why systemic abuses exist but it it won't even reach that thorn of anger in me, lodged deep into my psyche after all the things I've witnessed in this life. Last night was no exception.

As I watched a white DA summarize his grand jury's finding not to indict, and I went numb. Of course this was how it was going to go, but I held out hope. It's a flickering hope that gets blown out every single time something like this happens. I've grown immune to it I thought. I recall all the other names and faces, known and unknown to media, of gun violence and police overreach/overreaction and I have to hold myself up.

What followed was a fanatic sensationalization of the protest and the products of rebels and pent up rage. It couldn't have been played any better. It was like watching The Purge. Buildings and cars aflame. Police in riot gears yelling into loud speakers. Protesters screaming expletives. Our President struggling to find words to create calm.

It happens time and time again. History repeating itself. This is the true American Horror Story. Surviving on what you have left and praying that you make it back home. Add to that any layer of difference that sends you steps back from those who have power over you.

It gets very grim, and then in the night, drums echo and voices rise in unison, "Black Lives Matter! Black Lives Matter!" They are the voices of a generation desperate and exhausted, but filled with hope.

I won't argue why they got it wrong. I won't list the many that have come before or how our system is still broken. I will speak of hope, like those few in the night did outside my window, and I will pray that one day we will get it right. That actions will align with words. That we will come to value ourselves and each other enough to know we are meant for better.