Who has watched "The Witch"?

It's critically acclaimed, and according to Stephen King, it scared the shit outta him. So any horror movie fan had to go see what the fuss was all about.

Theatrical Poster

A devoutly Puritan family has been ousted from the safety of their village. With nothing but their faith and each other, they attempt to rebuild near the woods, but the disappearance of their youngest and lack of food begins a spiral toward desperation, questions of faith, and easy prey for supernatural forces. It's Amityville Horror set in 1600s.

What I liked: The actors are superb. Nearly everyone shines in their role. This is as authentic a time period piece that I've ever saw. The focus on the family dynamics of the time period set with the backdrop of the Salem Witch trails, it is hard to believe that this is a directorial debut. Everything is there to make this a instant classic: The M Night Shyamalan feel of piercing shrills followed by silence, the human drama underneath the supernatural, and claustrophobic feel that something is out to destroy this family.  This isn't just a New England fairy tale. I really liked the subtle focus on how the families own obsession with sins, particularly their own, is truly what opens them up to corruption.
 

What I didn’t like: While definitely this film could stand with the likes of other classics in the horror genre, it’s neither psychologically scary or gory or particularly frightening. The Witch does a good job at stirring drama but it doesn't provide the jumps needed to sustain an average movie goer. Case in point: while near what could be described as the climax in the film (the family accusing each other of witchcraft), a snore punctuates the theatre. This wasn't in jest. Someone literally fell assleep watching this. If this were a novel, this story would achieve the sense of dark foreboding it aimed at creating. But on the silver screen, I can see why others would find this to be just a bore.

While The Witch is certainly bond to split viewers, there's no denying it has a mystically pull. I gave it 3.5 stars out of 5. I wanted more, but I didn't hate myself for paying for me and my date. The Witch is currently playing in theaters. 

Who has Watched "Curve"?

Currently available on Netflix is a straight to VOD thriller, "Curve"

Boasting that it's produced by the same people behind gems like Insidious and The Purge, Curve may not reach to the same heights, but its still an enjoyable ride.

What I liked: For a film rated only 2 stars on Netflix, I expected D-List actors and heavy handed acting. However, I was pleasantly surprised! Julianne Hough is Mallory, some bride-to-be who becomes the victim of predator hitchhiker, Christian (Teddy Sears). Separately both actors sport pretty adequate resumes, and boy can they deliver some stellar emotions on screen.

What I Didn't Like: This is rated 2 stars for a reason. The film has plot holes the size of potholes. Rather than question every single one, just go along with it. It's better for you. Besides, we've seen enough films like. The tired trope of crazy hitchhiker is so common, we all should pause and question how much one loves themselves whenever we see anyone thumbing on the side of the road.

Besides that, I liked the way the story unfolded. We don't really know who the hell Christian is, nor should you care! That's the least of our protagonist's worry. After a desperate ploy at escape early in the movie, she's left wounded, trapped, upside-down in a ditch, while Christian roams free and a storm a-coming.

I rated this 3/5 stars. It wasn't great, but it was hella entertaining.

Who has watched "Are you in the house alone?"

Mix a babysitter-urban legend nightmare and an episode of Law and Order: Special Victims unit, and you got this made-for tv thriller.

This is the Cover cover art of Are You in the House Alone?. The cover art copyright is believed to belong to the distributor, CBS, the publisher of the video or the studio which produced the video. Cover for Are You in the House Alone?

Based upon a young-adult lit novel written by novelist Richard Peck, the film revolves around the life of Gail Osborne (Kathleen Beller) as she slowly begins to realize that she has a stalker, who is steadily upping the ante. Her world seems idyllic as she navigates through romantic relationships and her parental dysfunction.

What I Liked: At the time of this thriller, there were all kinds of dark, slasher whodunits. What I liked about this golden age of horror was the slow reveal that lulled you into a sense of complacency. The attention paid to Gail's dating life, interactions, and even the life of her parents all serve to remind you that this is a TEEN AGER and provide you with a sense of the mundane. And let's not ignore that Gail's life seems truly mundane, if not for her stalker. We the viewers know someone is out there scaring her. Our protagonist is brave enough to face this without including her parents, and based upon the opening scene, you know something bad is gonna happen. It was all just a matter of when. I was so caught up in the mystery that by the time our stalker is revealed, I was kicking myself. This analogy to victim blaming (punishing myself for not knowing) isn't lost on me.

What I didn't Like: After the climactic scene (poor choice of words on my part) this plays out almost like a police procedural. Gail struggles with a reputation as a rape survivor, and her rapist is still roaming about taunting her. While this makes for good melodrama, its not horror.

All in all, I enjoyed "Are you in the house alone?". I rate it 4/5 stars, because it not only held my attention, but it had me on the edge of my seat, without even using jump scares. It's available currently on Amazon Prime.

Who Watched American Horror Story: Hotel? (Season Review)

With a platinum bedazzled glove, the Countess (Lady Gaga) traces the chin of her next victim of love, and huskily recites, "You have a jaw line to die for."

Cut to Black. Season Five of this horror anthology series comes to a close.

Throughout this season, we were introduced to characters addicted to demons of their own making. Be it love, drugs, or the past, these hotel's willing and unwilling guests were given some thoughtful storytelling.

In the Season finale, there was even a healthy dose of happy endings (the non-sexual kind, however). The stories of transgender Liz Taylor ( Denis O'Hare), Iris (Kathy Bates), and even the dysfunctional Lower family ending harmoniously. So sweet cavities should tremble. It was too much fluff more my taste, but in classic AHS form, the thrills returned when the psychic Billie Dean (Sarah Paulson) returned to investigate the hauntings at the hotel. On a future Halloween Night, Ms. Dean was lured away to Mr. March's (Evan Peters) Devil's Party by the deceased 10 Commandment Killer/Det. Lowe (Wes Bentley). I was on edge as Ms. Dean went willingly unbeknownst to her that she was about to meet history's notorious serial killers.

Overall, here's what I liked about Hotel:

• Kudos to the costume and local team. The design of the sets and clothes were awe inspiring and punk. From Gaga's constant fashion changes to the hotel's physical structure and torture devices, everything was beautifully crafted. The season's sinful obsession with fashion eventually paid off. It may have also been a bit overpowering (See what didn't work).
• O'Hare, Peters, Paulson, and Bates proved themselves to be some chameleon actors. Each gave stellar performances that really should win them awards or nominations. Even Gaga had some moments of emoting when her character wasn't asked to be Gaga as the Countess.
• The connections to past seasons. The Realtor from Season 1 met her end at the hotel, and sadly so did Queenie (Sidibe), but it's good to see the writers drawing the anthology together.
• The child actors this season aslo were some stand outs. Scarlett (Shree Crooks) and Lachlan (Lyrics Lennon) were very strong. When they weren't telling off the delusional adults around them, they were on the sidelines watching the train-wreck.

What didn't work:

• The  premature end of the child vamp apocalypse, without a hint of consequences for Ms. Lowe (Sevigny) whose obsession with her lost son caused her to neglect her medical practice and family. There could've been more to that story line.
• Speaking of the Lowe Parents. Mr. and Mrs Lowe earn no awards for parents of the year. Daughter, Scarlett Lowe, had to watch her parents turn into a serial killer and vampire and somehow came out okay. The ending with all of them sleeping lovingly in a hotel room while Scarlett watched was total BS. But everyone gets a happy ending at the Hotel Cortez.
• What's the deal with the Countess' baby? Did I blink and not see it?
• And what's up with the Rubber man with the drill bit phallus. One really shouldn't just be please with the writers short cut of downplaying the demon as Mr. March's to will around when the demon followed Sally around much of the season.

This season didn't hit it out the park like Season One's: Murder House, although the hotel operated much like that house. It was still great to watch. Thematically it held together. I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with my Wednesday nights now.

Since the Thatcher Boarding school was brought up twice in the season finale, I expect Season 6 to take play in a school or camp cast with the child actors that really stood out this season. The creepy child trope has returned! And maybe aliens or wolves next time.

You can catch AHS: Hotel on FX and on most VOD sites for purchase.

Who Watched Scream Queens (the Series)?

Scream Queens which ended early December was a dark, campy mystery brought to you by the king/queen of such things, Ryan Murphy. Staring heavy hitters like Keke Palmer, Emma Roberts, and Jamie Lee Curtis, Scream Queens held my attention all the way to the bitter end.

Much like much of Murphy's productions, Scream Queens was inspired by many horror movie tropes and cliches of the 80s. It was a classic whodunit with plenty of black comedy. By the two part season finale, it certainly delivered on its promise of solving the mystery, but in my opinion, there was a theme here that wasn't fully realized.

All along we are led to believe a serial killer, the Red Devil, is stalking and hacking off the frat brothers and sorority sisters of Wallace University's campus. Everyone is a suspect. People die and then come back. Dead bodies go missing, and everyone's pointing fingers at everyone else. All the while, the sisters of the sorority plot to kill each other, then vow to keep each other alive, and then go back to every girl for themselves.

I initially thought that there was a feminist agenda here. Something along the lines of: Greek life being woefully out of touch with reality and perpetuating the very cycles of sexism that has stalled the feminist movement.  It appeared to be a metaphor for our current media and society at large. There were countless times where Chanel Oberlin (Roberts) developed some insight into her own bullying behavior and attempted to make amends with her sorority and protect it. However, in the very next episode, she reverts back into a Queen B* and pariah to those around her.

The season finale was great. It was as funny and cooky as the premiere, never taking itself too serious. I wouldn't have a problem with it if it weren't for the redemption arc of its main character that was prematurely started and stopped several times.

Overall the series was good, and you should watch it for yourself. Few episodes ever rose to the caliber that the premiere did. Maybe it was the many twists and turns that kept pulling focus away from the main objective.

The series has been renewed for a second season. Relive the first season currently streaming on FOX.

Thriller Thursdays!

I happened across an article online that reported that there were some good horror films on Netflix that was worth a watch. "I'll be the judge of that!" I admittedly told the computer screen. Netflix isn't necessarily known for its treasure trove of movie selections.

As I set these films onto my queue for later viewing, I decided that select Thursdays, I was going to watch and review a horror film in theaters currently or streaming online. Join me for these Thriller Thursday and look for me reviews. Also please follow me.

Upcoming Schedule
1/14/16 - Are You in the House alone? A 1978 classic streaming on Amazon Instant Video.
1/21/16 Starry Eyes - Netflix
1/28/16 Dead Silence - Netflix

As Above, So Below: Review

Yet another found-footage film. There's something about having a first-person POV as you turn the corner of some dark tunnel, praying that there's nothing on the other side. As Above, So Below is rift with these twists and turns.

Essentially the story is about a group of explorers and researchers seeking treasure in the catacombs underneath the city of Paris. They venture off into an uncharted path and their only way out is to keep going down.

The film starts off fairly novel and interesting, despite the over used genre. It even got a few jolts of surprise out of me. As the crew keep venturing deeper into the catacombs, ominous signs warn them "to give up hope, all ye who enter." The viewer's sense that something evil lurks in the tunnels is kept in suspension until half way through the film. Wouldn't it be interesting for a found-film drama to actually not devolve into ghouls and zombies? Once the crew started to heal broken limbs and encounter other hellish creatures of their imaginations, my suspension of fear turned to confusion.

There are as many reasons why this was a 3 out of 5 stars for me. The plot was promising. The acting was pretty good. However, it was only good because the characters' motivations were common place. Back stories were revealed as the film went on (smart move), until that itself became cliched, because it was done for every character.

Ultimately, where it lost me was that switch in plot. Suddenly it was no longer about surviving the catacombs, but a test of magical thinking. I like a good theological drama, which seems like where this was trying to go, but it was poorly executed.

If you are looking for  a Christian horror novel, pick up the Bible and read Revelations. That's the great piece of horror lit.

I'm sure As Above, So Below will work for others. I wished it worked for me. You can rent or own it through most VOD sites.